SPEAKER_01 0:00

What's going on, y'all? Just here. Got uh got to work, got my coffee right here, got my coffee going steady. Excuse me. Yesterday was a long day. Long day. You know, one of those days we're just like, you know what? This can go in the trash. I really don't care about this. I really don't care about this day. It was one of those days.

SPEAKER_00 0:25

Uh but we're here to talk about today. We're here today because I'm Stalin right now. Stalin and Roger Stallback. Stalin. Stalin! Engine shut off. Turn it back on, keep going. What am I saying? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 0:54

So I set out to do one of these uh vlogs or whatever you call it. Uh actually, I really don't have a plan, to be honest. I just uh wanted to put this on and use this microphone to talk to you guys.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

I don't know. Don't feel like recording stuff today. Um what can I talk about?

SPEAKER_01 1:32

I mean I guess I'm really not feeling good about myself because I'm I'm lagging, not lagging, but I have a bunch of things on my plate and I feel like I have I'm not I haven't I get to the point where I get so stressed out where like I haven't got anywhere. And usually at that time at those times I need to go work out or I need to take a nap. Uh when people used to ask me when I was younger if I need therapy by by hearing the type of music I would listen to, I'd be like, no, I don't need therapy.

SPEAKER_00 2:05

I need a nap and a guitar so I can play. Those two are therapy for me. Uh working out too.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

I like working out, and my uh what was I gonna say? I worked out a couple days ago, and I can feel my muscles like like screaming at me like, dude, we need to go back. We need to go back. We need to work. We need we need to work, buddy. We need to work, put us to work. That's how I feel like my muscles are right now. Uh yesterday got home super late, left super early, and I don't know. I just man, I just wanted to hit the sack as soon as I got home, man. To be honest, my kids were there, I hadn't seen them all day. Um not being able to spend time with them. Like, and then I get it's at those times at nighttime when I'm really tired that it everything just hits me. Like, oh, you're you're you're you're you know, all these now, all these negative thoughts come to my mind, you know. And waking up in the morning today, I'm just like it's they're not there no more. You know what I mean? They're it's it's like the tiredness that that's when it comes. But right now, like I feel rested and I'm ready to work, you know what I mean? And and rest is you is a huge part of life. It's a huge part of life for me because I can I can stay up late at night, let those negative thoughts get to my head, end up taking it out on my on my family. And um, I don't want that. I don't want that uh that toxicity to be I don't want that toxicity to be in my family, in my life because it's not good.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

You know, I'm at work all day.

SPEAKER_01 4:03

I'm a gentleman, you know what I mean? Most times, not all the time, you know, but most times and sometimes my my patience runs really thin with with people uh and it's to the point where like you know what dude I don't want to be around people because sometimes they're they're just sometimes they use they they utilize that patience to to they use it to the point where it's like you lose your sense of self because like for some people are some people may be in a relationship where that person is used using that person that uh their their partner's patience to to thin, you know what I mean? And then when that person that has been given a lot of patience finally snaps, then the the uh then the other person in that relationship will be like, well, see, there it is. You're the one that's you're the one that's bad, you're the one that's bad, but that's that's wrong because you haven't been bad that whole time, you know what I mean? You've been patient with a person, it's them the one that are calling you out for being patient for you know for finally saying something, you know what I mean, and that's bad, that's wrong. That's that's called gaslighting. If you're in a healthy relationship, you may explode, you know what I mean, but at the same time, you may be able to communicate with your spouse and be like, look, I've been patient with this, you know. I've been I've been nice about this, nice about this, you know. What's the problem, you know? And in a healthy relationship, they'll tell you, you know, they'll let you know, like, this is what happened, this is what's happening, this, this, and that, instead of, oh, you're the problem, you're the problem. You know what I mean? No, like that's that's not that's an unhealthy relationship. Um, either that or it's bad bad communication. You know, I mean, you could communicate bad with your spouse in in forms of uh how do you say uh affliction, you know what I mean? Um learn how to communicate. I always harp on like communication because it I that's like a huge importance in relationships, in family, um, and life. Sound like a hall. I feel like I'm sounding like a Hallmark card right now, guys. But nah, man, that's just what it is. That's what it is. Communication is key. Another thing I wanted to talk about too. I had it on my mind was being out of debt. My wife and I, we don't have any debt. Like none at all. No credit cards, no car loans, no student loans, no mortgage, like completely just nothing, like no debt. We don't owe anybody anything, and that that's not happenstance. That just that didn't just happen like out of the blue. That that's something that we worked at for years.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

We've been married, you know, 12 plus years.

SPEAKER_01 7:13

Being financially free, that's something that you work at, you know, unless you unless you actually get into a marriage or into a relationship without debt, you know what I mean? But that that's that's even that's cool too, you know what I mean. But a lot of us we we're trained to think that debt is good. Um, you know, and some people still live like that. That's fine, you know. Everybody has their opinion, but as for me and my house, we don't borrow money. At one point, we did because we bought into it. Like, oh, you have to have so many credit cards open, you have to make sure to pay it on time, all this other stuff, your FICO score, pa-pa, all this stuff, and then eventually I was like, you know what? I don't think it's so wise anymore. And once we got to that point, I talked to my we took my wife and I, we discussed it, we got on the same page about it, we knocked out all our debt, now we're debt-free. No mortgage, you know, and basically all the money that's coming in from our paycheck, put to retirement, put the savings, put the kids college. We're being responsible with it. I mean, and we have a lot of money to spend too, like not a lot of money, but we have a decent amount of money to spend to be able to go out to eat if we want to, you know, if we want to go watch a show or something, you know, we have that type of money to do that, you know. Um so being out of debt is very freeing, and and it's not happenstance, it doesn't just happen. And what I was mentioning, what I was going to say before I went on my real ramble there is that whenever my wife started decided to get out of debt, communication was was key because we had to talk about a budget, we had to talk about where our money is going, and for some for some marriages, for some relationships, which I don't understand, is that people don't talk about it. They have people have separate bank accounts. If you have a separate bank account, that right there is already a flag because in a marriage, it's supposed to be everything, you know, everything is everything, everything is your is y'all's together. It's not only this is yours, only this is mine. I mean, maybe some things like maybe the car or something like that. Hey, you drive this car, I drive that car most of the time. You know what I mean? But it's but with money, put it all in one, put it all in one pile. Because it's y'all's. Both of y'all make it together, you know, and then and then of course we get into pride and ego, like, oh, you make more money than me, they make more money than me, la la la, yada, yada, or whatever. That's pride. You're prideful. I mean, my wife makes I think, I mean, we both make money, you know what I mean? We both make it, we put it in the same pile. We say, okay, this is this is our pile of money, this is where it's gonna go. You know, we're gonna pick this, this, and that, whatever, kids college, and this is the phone bill, uh, all this stuff. Communication about where your money's gonna go. Uh that's huge. And I think a huge, and I think a statistic is that what number one, number two problem uh uh that people fight in a in a in a relationship or in a marriage is they fight over money. Like most of the arguments are over money. I mean, we don't fight. It's funny because I think about it, my my relationship with my wife, being out of debt and be having communication about our money, we don't fight about money. It's weird. Like, I think we used to fight about money when we were in debt and we didn't have any control of where it was going, we weren't communicating, we weren't budgeting. That's when we'll fight about it. But it would it became the opposite. We would actually talk about it, like this is where the money's going, this is where this and this and that. So we don't even fight that. That's like a huge elimination of all the fights that occur in the majority of marriages now. That that fight is gone. It's like min minimal, very minuscule in in my relationship with my wife because we decided to actually be responsible with money. We put it all in one pile, we have the same bank account, we we're transparent where all the money's going. It's something I definitely think that we need to talk about as a society. Talk about before relationships, before you get into a relationship with somebody, you know, that should be one of the topics of discussion. Why not? You know what I mean? A lot of times we're afraid to talk about stuff about ourselves because we want to be in this relationship, whatever. You know, we want to be in a relationship, and we refuse to talk about money because we think it's taboo. No, that should be at the forefront because if you're actually considering getting married to this person or somebody, you should be we should be uh knowledgeable about what's at stake and what's at hand and who that person actually is. Do you want to have kids? You know what I mean? Do you want to, you know, what church are we gonna go to? You know what I mean? This is these are the topics that you're supposed to talk to be talk about before marriage, before sex, before anything. You know what I mean? Like it's it's just a it's that's how I think that's the best way to do it. It's a wise way to do it. Because if it's sex first, then you talk about it, then you get married, or sex first kids, and then marriage, that that the order is is is flipped, it's out of order. You know, but you can't say that in some in some societies in some circles because you're wrong.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 13:08

Um, but yeah, just wanted to share that with you guys. Uh, let me know what you think in the comments, whatever uh uh whatever questions you might have or anything. Um leave them in the comments. Uh any topics you think I might you might uh want to hear me talk about, leave it in the uh in the comment section as well. You can follow me anywhere uh at Jesus Hilario H. Hilario is my middle name. J E so that handle is at J E S U S H I L A R I O H. That's the handle you can find me anywhere on social media. But, anyways, thanks a lot, you guys, for listening. Appreciate you guys. Bye.